You Too Can Shoot Shaky Videos in Hi-Res with the 4K Handycam

This post is intended to be cynical- so, take it with a grain of salt. But…

OMGZZZZ Sony has announced their newest Handycam, the FDR-AX100- and it shoots 4K! That’s like, 4K megapixels. Or, wait- is it just 4 megapixels. 4 times K- that’s it. 4 times K megapixel video! Right? Really, though- for those of you who don’t quite understand. This is HUGE. Gone are the days of using the pickup line “Yeah, my camera shoots HD.” Just imagine how many soccer moms you’ll be able to pull by saying “Yeah, my camera shoots 4K.”

Let’s envision a possible scenario. You’re a middle aged dad with two pre-teen boys. It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon in September, and your son’s soccer team is playing. One of the other boys on the team’s mother, Ms. Smith, is in attendance. Yes- Ms. She’s single. A ‘cougar’, if you will (but that term doesn’t<em> really</em> apply because you’re older than she is.) Every other Saturday is the same- you try to approach her, to sit next to her, to flirt with her- but she thinks you’re a creep, and won’t give you the time of day. But not this time. Not this Saturday. Ms. Smith has absolutely no idea what she’s up against- she has no idea that the bag swung over your right shoulder, capable of storing a weeks worth of luggage actually isn’t storing luggage at all- it’s holding a Handycam. And not <em>just </em>a Handycam- but a Handycam that shoots 4K.

Like usual, you find your seat on the cold steel bleachers, right next to her. Without saying a word- you reach into your bag, pull out that gloriously metallic black weapon, flip the screen out to the left, tilt it up, and hit the record button (not before turning it on, of course). You tip your glasses down, they now rest on the lower half of your nose- so nothing interferes with your eye’s ability to properly focus on that beautiful 3.5″ LCD. You wait. You know that if you stay patient, Ms. Smith will inquire about your new tool. She doesn’t. She continues to look forward, as if you don’t even exist. She’s playing hard to get- it’s an ancient trick that women have been using since Prohibition. You learned that, as last time you struck out. Feeling the moment- you know you only have one choice- ‘carpe diem’. Seize the day. At worst, you’ll strike out. But that’s not possible. Not today. You turn to Ms. Smith- the beauty of a woman that she is. You purse your lips, take a deep breath, and then mutter “Hey, my camera shoots 4K.” It’s a line capable of bringing anyone to their knees- no human is immune. Not even Ms. Smith.

Thank you, Sony, for making 4K accessible to people who want to shoot shaky videos of their sons or daughters playing rec sports, without possessing the means to edit; after all, beautiful video is MEANT to be ran straight from camera to TV (assuming you have a 4K TV. But, really, who cares. You can still say your camera shoots 4K).

In all seriousness- the samples from this camera are quite impressive given the price tag. But they’re shot by cinematographers, with stability, in beautiful locations. Something tells me most people shooting with this camera won’t be doing the same.

About Andy Madeleine

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